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After 20-Years, How Do You Say Goodbye to Your Best Friend #pets

I don’t even want to write a post. I am taking my time, force-feeding her a bit of food, which she eats when she is able to figure out by texture what it is. I think her sense of smell is gone. She stopped purring a few days ago, can barely walk because of her rear end not working properly. She is not sick, she is old as in 20-years old.

She has been in Geoff’s life for 20 years and mine for 10. She has been my service animal and Geoff’s best friend, as well as service animal as well. Metal kitty, evil bitch, pasta stealing cat, squirrel lover.. She was gorgeous, I wish I could say that now. She is bones, clumps of hair gone.. and mangy and it all happened over the last two weeks. I knew she was still drinking and by the hole in the food bowl she was eating till three days ago, but I don’t think she is eating anymore. I don’t hear her crunching, she is no longer vocal, she doesn’t even fight back with me when I try to feed her.

I know we have to say goodbye, but I cannot break down, I have to be there for Geoff, she is his baby. He gave up years ago having a child, in fact he never wanted one in the first place and even tried to have a vasectomy when he was 20. Asrielle was all he needed and this will be like losing a child, a family member and his best friend. I know this page is going to load slow but I just grabbed stuff from the files and loaded them here. The first one is from three days ago, I do not want to take her photo now, it would not be fair to her beauty. I had spent an hour grooming her and she never moved, she is limply laying across my lap in this photo. If you want to read more about her, I have a page in my about section. Just click on her name below after looking at the gorgeous photos. Oh and no she was not named after any cartoon, she was named after a song by Dead Horse…. or some metal band.


how-do-you-say-goodbye-catcat and vamplet as and dad bond kitty fiesty i claim this human i love you mom cat two-best-friends-cat

I love you psycho-kitty! I will treasure you till you go and hopefully it won’t be at leat for a couple days, and hopefully it won’t be with a lot of pain…

UPDATE: She still is here at 9PM, six hours later I have, in the last hour tried to force her to eat, but she is not interested. I had fallen asleep and when I woke up she was no tin her spot. I found her in front of her water dish breathing but not moving. her ears are perky and she responds with her eyes. Otherwise, I believe we are on holding patter till dad gets home. Thank you everyone

UPDATE: As of 10AM this morning, July 17th, 2014 Asrielle Morton-Horneker was gone. We brought her to Mt.  McKinley here in Fairbanks, AK. We stayed with her to the VERY end and are grieving so much. I have never had to do this as an adult, so many stories of people who have were shared with me over the last couple days. We are both just numb and our cabin does not feel like home at the moment. Thank you all for all your warmth, compassion and understanding right now. 



  1. ♡ Big gentle hugs to all of you ♡

    • Thanks Helle! I truly appreciate it!

  2. Oh, I’m so sorry…watching a beloved family member decline in health and spirit is heartbreaking and I can completely relate to what you are going through. Losing my cat Zoe (also a spunky Torti full of personality) was one of the hardest things I ever went through, right up to the very end. I’m sending all of you big hugs and warm thoughts; I’m sure that she has lived a wonderful life full of love and adventure. <3 <3 <3

    • Thank you so much, Marci.

  3. I’m so sorry for you both. I’ve also lost my pet children and it is incredibly painful. You will always miss her, but your tears will not last forever. Eventually you will laugh again over her crazy antics and maybe even swear you can feel her soft fur as you think of the time you spent grooming her. And one day you’ll realize the house doesn’t feel as empty without her because your memories of her will have encircled your heart, providing a lasting layer of protection to your soul. After all, she was your service pet and even in her passing, her spirit will watch over yours.

    • I know, it is so hard, she just looks exhausted.

  4. Kriss, I am crying as I write this. I pray for peace in your spirits when Asrielle walks the Rainbow Bridge. Yes, it is losing a part of your family because she is a part of your hearts. She lived her time and was blessed with her three weeks of old age, as it should be. Her life is a testament to your love and care for her, and she is doubly blessed you will be there to see her home. Ah Kriss, I am so sorry for your sorrow.

    • Thank you Paula, my heart is breaking and I have to be so strong with Geoff get’s home. He is already having such a hard time right now and he needs me not to be breaking down. She is breathing slower and slower, I just want her to survive for three more hours.. just three more.

  5. I am so, so sorry. It is so hard to lose them, and you will be in my thoughts.

  6. I’m sorry bunneh. I feel so much for you, Asrielle and poor Geoff. Love you guys.

  7. There is nothing harder than saying goodbye to a furry friend. Peace to you.

  8. Hugs. My two girls are 17 now. It will kill me when I have to do the same.

  9. I’m so sorry. We put our beagle down two years ago and it was heartbreaking.

  10. Awe hun. I know exactly what you are going through and what Geoff is going to go through once she’s gone. I teared up reading your post. Everything you are describing hits so close to home. Almost two years ago now, I went through the same thing with a cat my family had for almost 15 years.

    I still can’t get over the fact that he was around for 15 years of my life. His name was Spazzy. His last few days were very similar to Asrielle’s. He eventually stopped drinking and eating and soon couldn’t even walk to the litter box himself, let alone use it. Funny thing is he couldn’t take care of himself anymore, but he tried his damnedest to bathe one of my other younger kitties. Such selflessness. They were buddies. His body was shutting down. All we could do was make sure he was comfortable and gave him lots of love.

    We were really scared that he might be in pain, so we took him to the vet after almost 3 days of seeing him like this. They let us know that indeed his body and organs were shutting down as he was unable to take care of himself anymore, he was old. Only 14 mind you, but he was also an outdoor kitty, so his life was automatically cut in half.

    We made the decision to put him down that day. It was extremely hard. I still think about him to this day. A friend shared a poem with me and it really helped in the grieving process. I hope that it does the same for you and Geoff. My thoughts are with the both of you. Rest peacefully beautiful Asrielle. <3

    Rainbow Bridge

    Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

    When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
    All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

    You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

    Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….

    Author unknown…

  11. It is really hard to deal with it. The relationship with a pet is often the most meaningful relationship they have in their lives

  12. What a heartfelt tribute to a beautiful fur kid. Pets choose us more than we choose them, and Asrielle chose well it would seem. May memories be of some comfort to you and Geoff.

  13. It has been almost two weeks… and I am miserable still.

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