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NEW RELEASE – Jenniffer Wardell’s FAIRY GODMOTHERS, INC. – Interview

It’s Never about a Glass Slipper…

(giveaway following!)

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Welcome Jennifer! Ohhhh *squealing* I love magic wands! I have a magic snow spoon! Shall we wave them together and sprinkle everyone with glitter and bacon and make everyone smile with glee today!!?? Thanks for coming on the blog, your book is fabulous and your interview is delightful!

Oh and the flash fiction piece? Oh everyone, go get some coffee and sit down, grab your spare wand and tub of glitter and enjoy! Jolly Fish Press presents Fairy Godmothers, Inc! Available ….*waving my magic snow spoon*… TODAY!!!!

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CG –Tweet the book: You are challenged to tweet a synopsis of the book to include your tweet handle, GO!

“Fairy Godmothers, Inc.” by @wardellwriter: A Fairy Godmother wrecks “Cinderella” so she can live happily ever after. #wit #livebythewand


//

 
CG –Introduce yourself to the captive audience that you now have before you. (As in tell us something NOT in your bio, give us a dirty little secret not having or having to do with your writing)
 
JW- When my characters are being particularly stubborn or disagreeable, I will pace around my parking lot and have very audible arguments with them. No one’s tried to get me committed yet, but I expect I’ll need to have a very calm and reassuring discussion with a worried neighbor and/or police officer at some point.
 
CG – Is there a genre, other than the one you currently write in, that you wish you could break into? (if you want you can – I would love it if you did – a max flash fiction of no more that 500 with the prompt of “darkness” (yes this could work with romance, mystery, humour, textbooks on quantum physics.. own it and GO!)
 
JW – I couldn’t pick between my favorite genres – romance, fantasy and humor – so I write books that encompass all three of them. Though that’s probably cheating, no one’s tried to stop me yet. Subgenres, though, are a different thing entirely. I grew up on sword and sorcery stories, and I’d kind of like to poke my pen into that world at some point (a sword pun – I’m ashamed of myself). 
 
And, because you asked so nicely…. (CG – *giggling* you are so welcome)

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Back Door by Jenniffer Wardell

      The map showed them a back door to the dragon’s cave, a narrow tunnel that would let them access the treasure without having to do anything so stressful as actually fighting the dragon. Unfortunately, the tunnel was too narrow to safely carry a torch, which meant that Kayla and Ren had to rely entirely on Ren’s magic to light their way. That meant he had to go first, leaving Kayla and her sword to take up the rear.

      Neither mercenary was happy about the arrangement.

      “If you don’t get that skinny butt of yours moving, I swear I’m going to stab you,” Kayla whispered furiously, jabbing her finger into her partner’s back. “I will leave your body here and step over you.”

      “That’s easy for you to say,” Ren whispered back, sounding insufficiently cowed by Kayla’s anger. “Dragons are immune to magic, which means that once we make it into the cave I’m basically an afternoon snack. Just because you can stab first and ask questions later doesn’t mean the rest of us have that option.”

      “Which is scarier, me or the dragon?”

      He stopped completely, just to be annoying. “I told you, you can’t make everyone do what you want just by threatening them. You have to learn to be nice to people.”

      “If you even think about making me say please, I really will stab you.”
      Ren sighed. “Fine.”

      They moved through the near-total blackness at a snail’s pace. Finally, the claustrophobic feeling of the tunnel disappeared, opening up into a wider space that must have been the larger cave. Kayla made a relieved sound. “You stay here, and I’ll—“

      “What do you think you’re doing?”

      At the sound of the gravelly voice, Ren froze in panic. Kayla shoved him out of the way as she drew her sword. “We’re here for your treasure, dragon. Hand it over and no one gets hurt.”

      There was an offended sniff from the darkness.“In addition to being intolerably rude, I do believe you have a terrible sense of direction. You made a wrong turn somewhere.”

      At a nudge from Kayla, Ren hesitantly re-lit the magelight he’d extinguished. The source of the voice turned out to be a very annoyed ogre, foot tapping and arms folded across his chest.  

      The only possible response was unforgivably embarrassing, which meant that it was Ren’s job to give it. “I take it this isn’t a dragon cave.”
      “So you’re even stupider than you look,” the ogre huffed. “Of course it isn’t.”

      Ren sighed. “Is there a dragon cave anywhere near here?”

      The ogre made a disgusted sound. “I’m not going to tell you that. I’d never get any more of those delicious fried knight turnovers he makes.”
      Kayla eyed the ogre, wondering if threatening the truth out of him would be worth it. In response, he pulled an enormous battle axe out from behind his back. “I wouldn’t.”

      Accepting the inevitable, Kayla re-sheathed her sword. “Fair enough. Can we at least use the front door on our way out?”

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CG – When it comes to the genre you do write in, what are a few of the books or writers that have influenced you and your own writing (yes I can actually ask a serious question)
 
JW – Like all fantasy/humor writers, I bow before the awesome majesty that is Terry Pratchett. Discworld will always and forever be one of my favorite places to spend time. Patricia C. Wrede’s “The Enchanted Forest Chronicles” was also a huge influence, and if anyone somehow missed reading the series in their earlier years I urge them to go do it now.

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CG – If you could cast one of your works, who would you choose to play your main characters? (some have a huge cast, so say no more than five, I am thinking many would be able to do at least one, you do have one character right?)Why? (yes you are going to have to support that choice)
Write one line you would love for him/her to say from your book.
 
936full-analeigh-tiptonKate Harris, Fairy Godmother extraordinaire – Analeigh Tipton. She’s got the same great mix of humor and internal strength that Kate does. Also, her face transmits everything she’s feeling so beautifully.
Line: “I know I’m not a nurse, but you’d be surprised how many girls end up doing a face plant the first time they try to walk around in glass slippers.”

crLonestar_3Shot_W1.1FcrJon Charming – James Wolk. He’s got a bit of the princely air about him, but he also has the air of intelligent reserve that people get when they live most of their lives behind the scenes. Also, have you seen his smile?
Line: “We tend to torture people with canapés instead of anything fatal, but there’s no need to make the royal family suffer.”

 emma-roberts-empire-stateCinderella, otherwise known as Rellie – Emma Roberts. She could handle both the character’s more bubbly, oddball moments and those times when she shows real insight.
Line: “I’m sorry I don’t have my tragic heroine dirt on—I usually put it on in the mornings.”

 GabrielMann1Lawton – Gabriel Mann. His role on “Revenge” shows that he’s the king of witty, elegant snark. He’d be perfect.
Line: “I was wrong. No gossip could possibly be worth this much exercise. I’m going back to drinking myself to death.” 


Meryl Streep

Bubbles – Meryl Streep. Every majestically villainous female character should be played by Meryl Streep. Also, the vision of her in a sparkly pink ballgown would be an image to cherish forever.
Line: “Did you really have the future Count and Countess of DuBoir meet by dumping a large bowl of cream custard on the young woman’s head?”

CG – What is the first thing you would do if you woke up one morning to find one of your books on the NY Times Bestsellers List?
 
JW – I would probably faint for the first time in my life. There would likely also be copious amounts of giggling, happy crying, shrieking and bouncing around like an idiot, though I’m not sure what order that would be in.
 
CG – Do you have any vices that you turn to while you are writing (as in what candy / snack food / drink / 80’s hair band you break out in song too when you just cannot figure out the next line to write and that bitch of a muse is off on her own hunt)?

JW –  My biggest writing block vice is probably tvtropes.org, which breaks down fictional clichés in ludicrously wonderful detail. I tell myself I’m only going to be on there for a few minutes, just to give myself a quick break, then re-emerge hours later. It’s like the Internet form of promising to take only one bite of chocolate cake, then mainlining the whole thing.
 
CG – What do you do when you’re not writing? (what festive things do you do for fun? What things do you do when you make yourself have fun, and what is on the top of your list to do when you actually take two days for you (and family)
 
JW – I read pretty much anything I can get my hands on, and have a few series that I follow religiously – Patricia Briggs’ Mercy Thompson books, for example. I also watch way too many movies, from weird little indies to the most gloriously stupid/genius action movies ever created. I have a whole little diatribe about why “Die Hard” (the original, of course) is the greatest movie ever made, which I regularly pull out when I want to amuse and/or annoy those around me. 
 
CG – If it was a meal what would it be? Meat and potatoes? Vegetarian? A light nouveau cuisine? (I do a recipe with many of my authors this maybe an opportunity for you to share a recipe you think could go along with this?)

JW – “Fairy Godmothers, Inc.” would be my favorite completely re-constructed potato salad. It’s got the basic structure of what everyone else makes/writes, but all the stuff I find boring has been replaced with the stuff I regularly crave (witty dialogue is the literary form of bacon). The results are just a little bit odd and addictively tasty. (CG- baconporn.org and Cabin Goddess approve this recipe)

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 Fairy Godmothers, Inc.-style Potato Salad 

baconpornapprovedInstructions:

  • 3 pounds yellow mini potatoes
  • 12 slices bacon
  • 5 hard-boiled eggs, chopped
  • 1 cup chopped broccoli florets
  • 1 cup diced Cheddar cheese
  • 1 cup diced celery
  • 1 (8 ounce) bottle ranch salad dressing
  • 2 ½ teaspoon dried dill weed
  • 1 teaspoon Salt
  • ½ teaspoon pepper

Directions:

  1. Place the potatoes in a saucepan of lightly salted water bring to boil, and cook until tender, from cold water about 20 minutes.  Drain the potatoes in a colander, and cool.
  2. Place the bacon in a large, deep skillet, and cook over medium-high heat, turning occasionally, until evenly browned and crisp, about 10 minutes.  Drain the bacon slices on a paper towel-lined plate.  Snip the cooked bacon into pieces with a scissor or chop.
  3. In a large bowl, mix the mini potatoes, chopped bacon, hard boiled eggs, broccoli,
  4. Cheddar cheese, ranch salad dressing, dill weed, salt and pepper thoroughly combined, and serve.

CGOK now for the REAL fun and this will make it an official Cabin Goddess “Interview/Review and a recipe” Figure out a drink (with our without booze) representing your book in name an ingredients (this could be a renamed established drink)

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The Rellie

Six servings. Gloriously fluffy and pink, but just tangy enough not to give you a sugar headache.
 
8 oz crushed unsweetened pineapple drained
1/2 cup mashed strawberries
1 qt chilled strawberry soda
1 qt vanilla ice cream
 
Combine pineapple, strawberries, 1 cup strawberry soda and 1/2 cup vanilla ice cream in container of electric blender; process until mixture is smooth. Divide mixture evenly into 6 glasses. Add 1 scoop of ice cream and 1/2 cup strawberry soda to each glass.

Rellie would suggest the glasses then be garnished with glittery bows, but she’s usually not to be trusted when it comes to either fashion or home décor. (CG -But.. but… but I like glittery bows.. *pouting.. shoving the glittery bows under the couch*)

The Fairy Godmothers, Inc. Unofficial Terrible Assignment Cure

Make ahead, then take two after a client makes you seriously consider stabbing them with your wand. (#stabbylove)
 
4 cooking-size Hershey’s chocolate bars
1 ½ standard-sized tubs of Cool Whip, completely thawed.
1 box Nilla Wafers, crushed into powder
 
Melt chocolate over medium heat, stirring until creamy. Mix with thawed Cool Whip, then freeze for 10 minutes. This will make it easier to do the next step, which is rolling the mixture into teaspoon-sized balls. Roll the balls in crushed Nilla Wafers, then freeze again until firm. Eat, and de-stress. (CG *mmmnmdsignfnsaoass…coughing* ummm yes! Oh yes *wiping crumbs off my face omg.. holy-chocolate-Nilla balls of glory! OMG… Fairy Balls! oh wait, that just sounds wrong, these are too easy and to good… Geoff had me make them seven times so far… Cabin Cooking Tip – you can make them in the bloody MICROWAVE and if you are in Alaska only stick them outside 2 minutes, not 10 minutes)

Fast and Furious

On the Rocks, Blended or Bottle and a Shot Glass? –  Blended
Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi
New York or Los Angeles? –  New York
To Be or Not to Be? To Be
Roller Coasters or Carousels?  Carousels
Star Trek or Star Wars?  –  Star Trek
Beach or Pool?  Beach
Duck or Goose? –  Duck
Scooby Doo, Snoopy or Cujo? Snoopy

University of Alaska, April 26th--WTF???EPIC INTERVIEW *waving snow spoon* Oh crap, I waved to much! We have a winter spring snow storm going on here! OOPS! Oh well, Thanks again Jennifer, it was a blast. I really appreciate the fact you drink Pepsi too! Plus you earned a baconporn.org stamp of approval!

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a Rafflecopter giveaway

Fairy Godmother

Fairy Godmothers, Inc.

In a world where fairy tale situations are as much a fact of life as death and taxes, everyone knows hiring Fairy Godmothers, Inc. is the best way to assure that your beautiful daughter or enchanted frog of a grandson will get the happily-ever-after he or she deserves. Sure, sometimes a little love potion is required to make sure those quotas stay up, but what Prince Charming doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

Kate, an experienced Fairy Godmother, who’s enough of a romantic to frustrate her rigidly rule-bound boss, has just received a specialty assignment from one of the company’s board of directors. Cinderella—Rellie for short—was placed with an appropriately wicked stepfamily years before, and now needs the dress, ball, and handsome prince to complete her happily-ever-after. The fact that Rellie isn’t sure this is her dream come true—balls are fun, but princes tend to be less interesting than fluffy bunnies—isn’t something management considers a problem

Complicating things a bit is Jon, the youngest son of the royal family, who meets Kate, and is smitten, but isn’t quite ready yet to reveal his true identity. After all, it’s his older brother Rupert who’s supposed to marry Rellie, which means pretending to be a lowly civil servant will give him the chance to spend more time with Kate. (As long as he can get the ball arranged, and stop Rupert from getting himself into trouble over his “self-actualization” business, he should have the perfect opportunity to explain everything and get started on making a little magic with the Fairy Godmother of his dreams.)

But, of course, things never ever happen as planned.

Fairy Godmothers, Inc., a hilarious and witty debut novel from Jenniffer Wardell, is slated for release April 27, 2013. Wardell uses her experience in journalism and theater to create a perfectly flawed and (hopelessly) romantic adaptation of an age-old fairy tale. Topped with Wardell’s unprecedented knack for sarcastic humor, Fairy Godmothers, Inc. will leave readers desperate for more, while theater and movie producers clamber for production rights.

AMAZON | B & N | BOOK DEPOSITORY | POWELL’S BOOKS | INDIEBOUND |

Genre: Adult Humor/Romance
Pages: 350
Publication Date: April 27, 2013
Publisher: Jolly Fish Press, LLC

About the Author

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OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAJennifer Wardell is the arts, entertainment, and lifestyle reporter for the Davis Clipper. She’s won several awards from the Utah Press Association and the Utah Headliners Chapter of the Society of Professional Journalists. She currently lives in Layton, Utah.

Fairy Godmothers, Inc. is her first novel.

Find her online here:
Facebook | Twitter | Website

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2 Comments

  1. I want to read this book so badly!! Looks awesome!! <3

  2. I agree with Froggy I to want to read this book bad!!

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